Friday, 7 May 2010

Quest for 120... Day 3.

Before I write anything I have a slight edit on yesterdays intake... :( had a bit of chocolate last night during the election. Not too much, a few bits, maybe 100 cals. And two glasses of wine...

123.6 today - yayyyyyy!!! Loving the rapid progress so far. But that normally happens in the first few days. Got the weekend coming up which is always difficult and usually results in a gain this early on in the fasting process. So I'm sure it's gunna plateau out and be difficult to lose any more.

I had a 'dear diary' moment this morning which made me chuffed to bits! I was sat on the sofa at home, kinda balancing on the edge with my legs pointed sideways if you get me. I was trying to roll a cigarette on my lap when the filter rolled off the paper and onto my legs. I quickly squeezed my thighs together to stop it falling on the floor, but it fell straight through the gap... I had a smile on my face ear to ear as I sat and squeezed as hard as I could and still my thighs would not touch. So yeah my legs weren't splatted out againgst the sofa or anything, but still, this is a great little boost. 3.6 pounds to go until I can eat again. It seems like such a small amount, but I know it's not. I know it's gunna be tough.

By the time I got to work I felt absolutely starving. My stomach was actually hurting. I drank loads of water, and an orange cordial, and a cup of tea, but it was no use. I didn't feel dizzy or anything just sooo so hungry!!! They do 'fry up fridays' at work, and so I'd resigned myself to getting 1 piece of toast. I could take that hit surely? Well... I went to stand in the queue and the bloody toaster was broken. Argh!!! Somehow somewhere my little ana angel rescued me from the toast and also stopped me getting some fried shit instead. I kept thinking back to the moment on the sofa, stayed strong and reached for a fruit bowl. Grapes, melon, strawbs and pineapple. Though when I sat down with it, most of it was rotting or tinned fruit. Yuck! Left most of it, and still felt hungry. I hate days like this, when the hunger is so bad it hurts. it's so disheartening but I'm not gunna hate myself for eating, or get too down about it: I had half a tuna steak for lunch with some veggies. Still felt starving when I got home, with the knowledge that I had to try and survive a dinner party later that evening...

my plan was to only eat until I was no longer hungry, but as I have massive "finish your plate syndrome" I ate everything and felt really full!   

Gotta keep moving forward and just hope tomorrow will be easier. And anyway, as long as the numbers keep going down that's all that matters right now.

I have written down somewhere in an old diet log book thing what all my measurement were back in January. All the usual waist, hips, bust, thigh, arm, bmi, weight, weight of body fat, body fat percentage. I'll dig it out, and also post my current stats. Or maybe I should wait until I'm at 120? I'm not sure. What do you think? If it's a big difference it will really spur me on, but if it's not then... Eek! I can't remember what I weighed in jan. Maybe 135, 137? Need to dig out that book!!!

Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend in town to go shopping - hope she'll have eaten before I meet her at half one and isn't planning on going for lunch...

Stats for the day
Weight: 123.6
Calorie intake: fruit salad, half tuna steak, veggies, cheese, salad, bits and bobs like potato wedges and mushrooms, vienetta ice cream (ha! How northern and working class!)
Total cals: hmm... Guess here... 1200??!?! Eek!
Exercise: big fat nothing. 

Will not be surprised with a gain tomorrow!!

Violet x x 


  1. Congrats on the progress! It's such a great feeling isn't it?!
    Anyway, don't worry, I know all about feeling out of control too. I guess the biggest problem is that the more we try to hold on to that control, the harder it becomes (how ironic)!


    P.S. No, I'm not from the UK but I'm not too far away either ;)

  2. Ahh great job on the gap!!! That's so exciting :)

    I have yet to figure out how to eat just until I'm full. And you're eating healthy stuff! tuna and veggies is much MUCH better than fried goods.