Tuesday, 4 May 2010

No wedding bells... Still...

Good morning

Eeek! I'm back at work today after four days off. I'm really not enjoying my job at the moment, it's just too hard. Id love to work for myself - start my own company or cafe or something. 

I can't believe how much food I ate this weekend I just couldn't stop myself. Not just the wedding but Sunday too. It was like I was in some sort of trance and nothing would pull me out of it. My weight has still remained at or close to 125 - I've been trying to hold it there for a few weeks now before loosing any more weight.

Weddings have such a strange effect on me. It's like I turn into psycho girlfriend or something. (only in my head though - i try to reign in the crazy around my boyfriend!) but it's like...

When are you going to ask me to marry you?!

 I know I'm young, but we've been together so long and are so sure about each other. We've spoken about it and so I know that getting married is where we both wanna be at at some point. I guess I'm just in more of a rush than him. It's just so important to me to get married, I feel like things will only be right once we are. A lot of our friends are married or engaged. When will it be my turn?! :( I take it so personally when he doesn't ask me though. Like if we go somelacw nice or for a nice walk, I work myself up about it so much and keep convincing myself "tonight could be the night" but it never is. Why am I so goddamned obsessed with this?!?! I just feel like somethings missing. I wish he would hurry up and ask me. Soon!!! It's got to be sometime this year, surely. Ands it's another motivation for my diet too. I can never talk to him about this, or ask him myself. Being proposed to is such an amazing experience, and I wouldn't want to miss that for the world. I'm such a traditionalist - he has to ask me. Unprompted.

Ughh can someone please shake me?!?!


  1. Yeah I did worry that he was just being a normal, nice person and I read loads into it and just pushed myself onto him but I spoke to my best friend and she reassured me, you can tell when someone is into you, and he really was giving me all these subtle signs. Definitely something changes in the night because I didnt bother with him at the start because he didn't seem interested, and then suddenly he did. Nope, haven't spoken to him because I don't have his number and I'm not gonna add him on facebook because a) he'll know I looked him up an b) what's the point? Ugh, the Boy. Nothing's going on there apart from the usual. I've deleted his number to stop myself from spontaneously txting him going I LOVE YOU WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME??? and he occasionally texts me making crap conversation which depresses me. I'm trying to ignore him, because it only ends badly.

    Lol I totally get the marriage thing. I think it's ingrained in all females to be like that. I used to get SO annoyed with my ex for getting funny about marriage. Like he was a very traditional one woman kinda guy and I knew he imagined himself with me for the rest of his life. We would talk about our future and kids and stuff but if I ever jokingly mentioned marriage he would freak out and it would properly PISS ME OFF! But we were 19 for God's sake! Why should that bother me!? How long have you two been together? How old are you, I forget? Is it 24 or 26? By 26, if I were in a long term serious relationship I'd be starting to get the bug for sure...

    Hey at least you're still around the 125 mark after a weekend of eating! xx

    p.s. Sorry my comments are about as long as your posts :P

  2. Ooh 3 years and living together for a year, yep you're definitely allowed to have the marriage bug. You said he wants to get married at some point, any idea what his time scale is? It's funny how ppl never seem to quite be at the exact same points isn't it? Like I broke up with my ex because I realised he wanted us to be together forever and I wanted to be free and have some experiences, and then I went out with this 26 year old, who I just wanted to sleep with basically, who wanted to get married and settle down! And after 2 years of wanting to be 'single and 'free' I now can't get the Boy to commit to anything more than the occasional drunken romp. Sigh.

    Hmmm I guess with that other guy, he must have liked me and let himself go with his instinct but when it came down to it was never going to actually see it through and cheat on his girlfriend. Hence the flustery behaviour and fleeing as he said goodnight!

    I'm in my 3rd and Final year of a Psychology degree. It's Experimental Psychology and pretty heavy on the science stuff, hence the nutrition module. My exams start in 2 weeks, eek!

    I'm not sure I've given you much advice! And if so, I'm not sure whether you should take it, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty shit at life!! xx